Oh Irene...

The thing is, there are these amazing waves all up the beach probably because of the hurricane or whatever.
Last night Michal, Faith and I decided to just do it.
So we were all up in them being knocked and thrown around.
At one point I got really caught in one and couldnt get out or breathe. It was just throwing me and rolling me over and over
there wasn't anything I could do about it . I mean probably I could just die.
finally the ocean spit me out on the beach after flinging me high in the air and I just hit the sand. hard.
I was trying to breathe and choking out all that salt water and deciding to never enter the water again when I looked over and saw Michal and Faith both having just been equally attacked by that wave.
I thought they were dying but they both just were there in the ocean. laughing. happy as a clam. Not blaming the water for almost drowning them. Running back and throwing themselves into it. diving into those waves that should have scared the crap outta them.
waves twice their height. And thats how they are. My sisters. They aren't afraid. They aren't afraid of drowning or trusting.
They just enjoy life. They do everything that they feel like. They throw themselves into anything. Now, I'm not thinking thats always the wisest thing for them to do.
I wouldn't encourage them to do life threatening things like jumping off cliffs into lakes and swimming in hurricane waves and petting animals that could bite their hhands/arms/heads off. But they just do. And I'm proud of that. My brother's my sisters are all so brave.
I want to be like that again. I want to live like theres no tomorrow. And do everything that I'm scared to do but want so badly to do.
And usually when I just force myself to do it I'm not afraid once I'm doing it. Its the anticipation that gets me. And I just have to stop thinking and jump.
Stop thinking and dive. Stop over analyzing. Stop being so afraid of everything.