Once upon a time, He told me I had a cute nose. Because, 1. I do have a cute nose. and 2. I probably hear people tell me all the time about how amazing my eyes are. Why can’t he just be white? The End.

sometimes...

sometimes you get sick on a tuesday... and wake up sometime on a wednesday and realize all the bread you baked and granola you made on monday is gone. the bathroom you cleaned isn't freshly cleaned anymore. the dishes you washed were dirtied and washed again. and laundry was hung on the line and dried. and life went on without you...

Sisters - Part 4

my sisters are all so amazing.

Grace, our baby sister. She's 9 or 45. Its hard to tell. Grace is my little jokester (she doesn't mean to always make people laugh. She is serious. Not joking. But, we are always laughing anyway.) She is the one sister with the freckles. Shes always dancing and running and flipping around. She doesn't like sitting still. She's completely serious 90% of the time. She is the youngest. She doesn't want to be the youngest. Its a "hard knock life" according to her. Something we hear on a regular basis, "Yall don't know what its like being the youngest!".
She thinks she is always misunderstood. She get mad easily. She doesn't care about clothes. As long as its comfortable. She cries when she hears sad music. She loves singing sad songs and she has an incredible voice. But she doesn't like to sing for anybody. She loves Johnny Cash.She loves playing his songs on the guitar and singing them. She loves old musicals and black and white movies. She gets embarrassed easily. She gets annoyed easily. She talks about her feelings all the time. She is afraid of the Ocean. She likes those nasty green smoothies my dad makes. Instead of juice in her sippie cup she would have a thick green smelly smoothie. She asks every question there is. She loves pink. She loves Ben. She loves bestfriends. She wouldn't play with boys until last year. She doesn't like being the center of attention. She has always seemed more like a little adult than a baby. I love everything about her.

Grace will be starting her own blog this Summer. Be looking for it.

Rise! let us go!

Sometimes you have to humble yourself and just admit you were wrong. Apologize and ask for forgiveness. then move on.... I have to do this frequently.

One of my faults is dwelling on the wrong thing I've done for too long. I feel so terrible about the mistake I made, I can't believe I did it, and I cant stop beating myself up over what I did wrong.
(Matthew 26:46 helped me. Its basically Jesus letting the disciples know, look guys, I know you did wrong. You are sorry. you feel like the lowest of low right now. you fell asleep when I needed you the most. (they did it like 3 times.) but you are forgiven. okay get up and go. time for the next thing. Its over.
I just don't do that part. I dont look ahead and move on, I keep looking over my shoulder at my mistakes and wrongs and dwelling on them. punishing myself even though it is past and over and I was forgiven. I thought I was doing the right thing by thinking so much about what I did wrong. Then I realized, I don't think the Lord wants me doing that. He want;s me to learn from it. To not do it again. To be repentant. To move on to the next thing. Because its done. I can't go back and change what happened.
All I can do is, humble myself, admit I was wrong, apologize, ask forgiveness, and then "rise, let us go" when Jesus says to.



I'm trying Lord, I know it takes kinda a long time with me, but day by day I am learning more and more. your mercies are new. You never get tired of me. You forgive every time. you love always and unconditionally. You are there to help me up. You are there to show me new things through your words, your creation and beauty, your children here on earth. And though I am a slow learner, and you probably shake your head at the things I do.((its okay God, you can just tweet, "omg guys, did you just see what @jessclark88 did. smh #whenissheevergonnalearn #thethingsidealwith") I pray you see that I'm trying to learn this one and I'm doing better. Everyday I know I'm getting closer to the girl you want me to be. Everyday I'm trying harder. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for loving me and being so patient. Thankyou for showing me who you want me to be and helping me get there.

Love, Jess

The first of the year

I haven't blogged all year. I've barely wrote a scrap all Winter worth reading. I had 4 or 5 pieces typed up through out the Fall and never posted them. I was meaning to post about my siblings birthdays and holidays. About sewing and creating and my cooking and baking escapades. I meant to do a whole blog on beekeeping. Writing about everything. But the "everything" just seemed to take all my time and energy. And its a good thing that I focused on helping wherever I can. I've been busy with work and music and bible reading. Plenty of family drama to keep me occupied.
Right now the main things in my life are these,

1. Trying to get as close to God as I can. By praying and reading
2. My broken sister and taking care of her.
3. Work and work
4. Music

It takes up all my time. But that's good I think. I will try though to find more time to write. Because its good for me to write.
I'm learning to
Praise God in all things,

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,

Two nights ago...

I had a dream about Ryan Gosling. It was probably because it was the day after his birthday. So he was a little bit on my mind.

I dreamed I was in a house that was being used to put on a children's play. A little old white farm house with the living room filled with lawn chairs for seats. The lights were just bare light bulbs. The room was a little dim and flickery with bugs being zapped by the lights every now and then ya know. My sister Grace was in this play. I was looking for an empty chair when Ryan waltzed in and sat down. There were only a few empty seats left and they all were around him. So naturally I had to sit by him. I looked apologetically at him like "ehm, sorry It seems like I'm dying to sit by you, its not because you are famous.. it may be because you are so beautiful... but Its not on purpose Ryan Gosling, I'm not one of those girls. And I'm really sorry you always feel like everyone is obsessed with you and you can't even go enjoy a children's play without being noticed." (by the way, no one else in the room cared who he was. and I mean, I didn't either.) So we sit there waiting for like 16 minutes for the play to start. We were chatting it up a little bit. He told me his kid sister was in the play too. So that was cool. We just had a great time at the play. And when it was over I woke up. (I'm sorry to say I didn't really pay attention to what the play was about.)

The Smallest Clark Makes Dinner

The littlest Grace makes the dinner. First time ever. And she's a wee 9 year old. (This wouldn't be happening if the parents were here...but they aren't and I'm letting her.)
I'm pretty sure our dinner is Spaghetti. She made Pasta, Red Sauce, Toasted English Muffins, and her dessert appears to be vanilla ice cream in little dishes with peach slices and red sprinkles.
This is epic. I'll try and get pictures.